12.11.2008

i love the smell of academia in the morning...

and coffee and paper and, most of all, panic. its finals week, my last finals week. i've been told i should be feeling sad, triumphant, and relieved. i can honestly say i'm feeling nothing.

its an interesting thing, not feeling anything. maybe i'd feel differently if i were actually graduating. it's different, just moving home to student teach. i'm still a student, no more nearer to adulthood now than i was when i graduated high school. i've come so far and in more ways than one. theoretically, i'm smarter, more mature, and more prepared for what is so uncharacteristically deemed "the REAL world". realistically, i feel a million miles behind where i started. college has only taught me that i'm an excellent procrastinator and i'm really good at faking sick. i don't feel as if i've accomplished anything, made any great educational or otherwise important milestones.

i'm hoping this changes once i actually have a degree in my hand.

11.17.2008

i'm getting too old for this shit

i hate all-nighters... punishment for my sloth.

11.04.2008

2.07.2008

beggars cannot be choosers

where can you go
to find peace,
when the outside
roars like mad
and the inside
fares no better?

emily said
the soul selects
her own society.

i guess my soul
is fickle.